pressure

Some would say that peer pressure can be good or bad. I disagree. Pressure to act in a way that is uncomfortable to you is, in my opinion, always bad. Pressure to conform or be like the group despite how you may feel about a situation seems false and dangerous. Everyone has a moral compass which points them in the right direction and following that direction yields self-confidence, and perhaps a quiet sense of self and usually points towards self-preservation. Why would you doubt that? An inborn sense of right and wrong or more specifically of what one should do is deeply personal and failing to follow that directive only results in disappointment, discomfort and discouragement. How you feel when you are true to yourself will always trump how you feel when you have succumbed to the will of others. I know as parents we sometimes employ "positive peer pressure" in helping to steer our children in the right direction. Surrounding them with people who we hope they will one day emulate. Now, I think there is a fine line between encouraging your child to become their very best self, fostering a feeling of integrity and forcing them to behave a certain way or risk isolation, alienation and loss. I fervently hope to encourage my children to nurture their own sense of what's best for them as an individual instead of encouraging them to look outside of themselves and judge their actions by what other people are doing. Whether influencing a person for good or bad, this influence, when encouraged can lead to self-doubt, disappointment, and a false sense of identity. Because what other people are doing will always change. You will never be able to keep up with the Jones' because there will always be something bigger and better to chase. I want my children to know themselves and I want to know myself as well. We as adults are not immune to the pressures of others. I strongly believe the path to changing behavior is paved with encouragement, support and love. We shouldn't try to force others into behaving a particular way, we should seek out people who enjoy the same things we enjoy and revel in our shared interests or respect our differences. Tonight I watched a movie that has received much praise but after watching it I am left feeling sweaty, uncomfortable, overstimulated and worn out. I wish I had used the last 2 hours of my life to do something that would leave me feeling refreshed and relaxed instead I trying to decompress from all the violence and intensity I just experienced. I watched it because other people had liked it and recommended it but I would like to harden my resolve to only watch and/or participate in activities that are actually appealing to me in and of themselves barring any recommendations or at least taking into consideration things I actually enjoy. I'm not saying no one should watch this movie and I'm not passing judgment on those who enjoyed it but I had a feeling I wouldn't like and decided to risk it in the hopes that I would be wrong. In the future, I hope to be more true to myself and use my limited amount of leisure time in activities that leave me feeling relaxed and refreshed.