Happiness has no size
Happiness has no size
Happiness has no size
Happiness has no size
Happiness has no size
And once more for effect,
Happiness has no size
I have gained weight. The only other time I had this many lbs on me, I was pregnant for the third time in two and a half years. I was chasing a two year old, a one year and had barely surfaced from my second bout of postpartum depression.
What I'm saying is I deserved it! Of course I was bigger and fatter than I ever had been, I was supporting four lives with my one body!
This is how I discovered one small part of my fat phobia; I believed some people deserve to be fat. They're not really trying very hard to lose weight, they don't eat well, they don't exercise or they are housing another human body within their own. Those are the people that deserve to be fat.
People who don't deserve to be fat, well, they're skinny. They wake up early and exercise every morning, they don't eat carbs or fat or sugar. They eat plants and lean meats. They have stable blood sugar and thigh gaps and they're never tired because their body is running on clean energy.
I used to be one of those people, in reality, maybe I was just young.
But now I'm fat and not young.
But I am happy.
My body has kept time with my mind as I have grown. I've expanded and gotten squishier, softer, more pliable and loving, understanding and caring for ideas, for people, for differences. I used to be straight and unforgiving as a rail rod, thin and mean and prideful. All angles and cruel, swift justice.
Now, I'm soft and curvy; relaxed, even jiggly, but most of all happy. I am content. I am feeling more comfortable with my body, myself, my life, my choices. I am growing into myself, into my mind, my ideas and experiences.
And I can see that there's space, there's space for everyone to grow into themselves. There's room for all of our minds and bodies and thoughts and feelings and experiences.
So I'm going to keep growing. I hope you do too.
