I often get caught up in scolding myself for not being more productive, for not being a better steward over my time, energy and other resources. Somehow I've gotten a picture in my head of what I should be like, what I should be doing to be happy, to be successful, etc. But what if I could just be happy now? What if joy isn't something I arrive at after toiling and laboring until I'm exhausted and used up? What if joy is the dark blue of the sky? The sound of my kids laughing while watching a funny show? Maybe rather than focusing on what I am doing, accomplishing, contributing in productivity and goods and services, I find my purpose in just being alive? I am a human being after all, not a human doing. So, today I'm giving myself permission to just be. To just see the beautiful world around me, to look at my children, to really look, and marvel at the complexity and beauty of them as human beings. Kids don't seem to get as caught up in what's getting accomplished or what we have to show for each day. At the end of each day, my kids are happy to go to bed with sticky bits of marshmallow in their hair and dirty hands and feet from playing all day. They embrace each day as it comes. They wrap it up around themselves and relish daylight until the sun goes down and then they collapse into bed, tired and content.
