I carry two secrets

I carry two secrets wrapped deep inside me

Carefully swaddled in confusion

To soften the sharp edges

To protect those I love

From being ripped, from being pierced

By the truth I hold

I hold it tight

My fist wrapped round

No one will see it

It will not be found

My fingers flex over it

Keeping it safe

But inside, in the fleshy parts of my hands

It tears, it slices, it cuts deep

I bear down against the pain

I hold fast the shards

They will never escape

I will never let go

This dangerous, destructive thing

Must not escape

It will create

Havoc and harm

It is dangerous and bad

I must not let it go,

So I grit my teeth

And bear down harder

On the knives, the shards, the cuts

oF truth, Of this secret harm that was done to me

Tears run rivers down my face

As I struggle to keep it contained

I can’t

I can’t fight anymore

I can’t keep it from getting out

I..I..I have to let go or it will kill me

I will not! I yell defiantly,

I will not let it out,

It will kill, It will cut

I will kill myself to keep it

From hurting anyone else

I will die,

I will thrust it deep within my heart

Surrounded by the fleshy tablets

I will wrestle it over the cliff with me

And falling

We will both be in oblivion

Never more.