it takes a village

sometimes i resent getting help from others. i have lived far away from my family throughout most of my adult life (not their fault at all, they are all awesome) and i am realizing i have been limiting myself by not accepting or allowing help from others. i have thought that by accepting help from others i will somehow negate the love or care or concern my family has for me. or that it is unfair or that i am not being loyal to my family if i accept service or kindness from other people. serving was something you did to people who didn't have strong, supportive extended families and i had one so i was good, i didn't need anything else and i didn't want anyone to worry about me. i would even cringe when our bishop would ask how we were doing because i knew he had so many people to worry about, i didn't want him to think he had to worry about us too. we're fine, always fine, never worry, never wonder, just assume we're fine. we'll, sometimes we're not fine and that's normal and healthy and to be expected. sometimes i need to be rescued just like everybody else and that doesn't make me weak or inferior or unrighteous, just human. i am realizing to embrace my humanity and  relish in the love and service that can come from others when you really just need help to make it through the day. and realizing that everybody gets there. everyone has or will see that point in their life when they realize the value and importance of having real, loving people around them. i am thankful for all the real, loving people in my life, near and far, who have helped me stay sane, safe, and happy. i seriously wouldn't be here without all of you.